“Man to man is so unjust.”
–Bob Marley
We all have had occasions where we need to forgive. People hurt each other, sometimes willfully and many times accidentally. Regardless of how it comes, when we find ourselves on the receiving end of the hurt, we must decide to forgive or not—not an easy decision.
Unforgiveness is a destructive practice none of us can afford. This human scourge turns the mind into the breeding ground for hate, anger, bitterness, fear, resentment, guilt, malice, low self-esteem, rage, and I’m sure there are some feelings you can think of that’s not mentioned here. The follow-up to these feelings can be slander, gossip, theft, lies, every kind of prejudice, and all manner of criminal and immoral activity.
One unexpected consequence of unforgiveness; the first person to be affected by these feelings is the person having them. The thing though, is he or she is often taken over and dominated by them, and so continue full speed ahead into destruction. Many people do just this, all the while blaming someone else for their circumstances.
There is a better way.
Forgiveness is the better way.
When choosing between carrying a grudge or forgiving, most people, most of the time, will pick the hard feelings. Before you disagree, dig deeper.
Ask the hard questions before you act.
- “How do I feel?”
- “Do I have all the facts?”
- “Do I know without the shadow of a doubt, the facts are the truth?”
- “Am I acting hastily?”
- “Who will I hurt or help by my actions?”
- “Is what I’m about to do criminal or immoral?”
- “What do I expect to happen?”
- “Are there any other possible outcomes?”
- “Am I prepared to face the consequences?”
The answers may surprise you, but if you are honest, they will help you to make the right decision.
God will help you.
The Psalmist David admitted his hatred for his enemies. He had made many mistakes doing things that did not please God. So he knew he could not trust his own heart to tell him the truth, but he could trust God Who made us and knows everything about us, including what we think, say and do. Psalm 139:1-16.
David wanted to get to the root of his hatred and dig it out. He did not want to do evil things like his enemies were doing. He tried to do what God wants.
David prayed in Psalms 139:23-24:
“Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.”
The “everlasting” way means this road leads to a happy life; not a destroyed life.
Say Amen!
