5 Reasons why Children Must Forgive Parents:
- God commands us to obey and honor our parents.
- You are not likely to obey your parents if you don’t forgive them.
- God promises to bless children who honor their parents.
- You will be more prosperous.
- You will be happier and will live longer
3. God Promises to Bless Children Who Honor Their Parents.
Ephesians 6:3
If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”
What could be the culprit that’s blocking God’s promised blessing from being a reality in your life? Are you holding grudges against your parents that make you unwilling to forgive them? If that’s the case, you are cheating yourself out of God’s blessings. We dishonor our parents when we don’t forgive them. We also dishonor God.
Many adult children are guilty of withholding forgiveness from their parents. They have no idea the price they pay for the right to do that.
Ephesians 6:2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise.
This promise is to those who honor their parents. That means anyone can receive the promise, if they meet the conditions— anyone, but there are hindrances. The biggest hindrance is our soul. Our deepest hurts happen in our soul, (will, intellect, and emotion). When someone hurts you physically and the wound is skin deep, without emotional wound, you will forgive long before the flesh wound heals.
The opposite happens if your soul is wounded. The flesh wound may heal leaving no physical scar, but if there is a scar in your soul, it hangs on relentlessly. And your soul believes in “an eye for an eye.” Yep, your soul wants its pound of flesh. It wants revenge, restitution, call it what you will. It doesn’t care who the perpetrator is; it’s all about protecting you, and you should expect nothing less. After all, it’s your soul.
There are Ten Commandments, and God made no explicit promises for the first four commandments. Telling, since they deal with our relationship with Him (Exodus 20:3-4, 7). It seems He puts more value on how we treat our parents than on how we treat Him!
Could that have something to do with our human failures? You may be a parent, so you know parenting is not easy. Parents make mistakes. Show me one who’s NEVER made a mistake with their child, and he/she had better be walking on water. (I like the water-walking analogy.)
Children sometimes judge their parents very harshly (Matthew 12:27). They expect parents to be perfect. I believe everyone is born with this expectation. Children look to their parents for love, and direction, and wise counsel. You are your child’s personal superhero until the glory of teen wisdom takes over.
The playground challenge, “My dad can whoop your dad!” is no game. Children will say this even if they don’t have a dad in the home. If they don’t know their dad, they will use their imagination. It’s an expression of their sense of security. They need to know their dad is strong—perfect, and want him to be there with them. They are disappointed when their dad is not. Check out this article.
God blesses people.
God blesses people, not things. When we are blessed everything we touch is blessed, marriage, family, friendships, ministry, land, house, business, job – everything.
Since everyone is not a parent, but everyone is someone’s child, it figures that this blessing is to children. This way God can bless the earth through each person. The blessing of each blessed person is designed to benefit that person, but also flows to others.
So. How do we do it?
How do we satisfy our soul, give it its pound of flesh so we can obey God, honor our parents allowing God’s blessings to flow in our lives?
God gives us the grace to obey Him.
The ability to obey God comes from God through His Son, Jesus.
Galatians 4:4-6
4 But when the fullness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law,
5 To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons.
6 And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.
John 1:12-13
12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
John 1:16-17
16And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace.
17 For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.
Those who receive Jesus, the Son of God, as Lord and Savior also receive His Spirit (Ephesians 2:18, 1Corinthians 6:17, Philippians 3:13). The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of the Father and the Son. The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of truth — always obeying the truth. He helps us to obey our Heavenly Father, (Philippians 2:13) the Word of God, you have to convince your soul that Jesus took all the hurt and the pain for you. Jesus satisfied the requirements of the law for you.
Have you ever felt like no one knows or understand how you’ve suffered or how you feel?
Don’t rule out the possibility others are only reacting to your behavior. You may not see how ugly your behavior can be sometimes. No one understands nasty behavior in other people. They may justify it when it’s coming from them though. Your bad behavior may be a cry for help, but all anyone sees is the behavior, so they judge you. You don’t get it either because you think everyone should know you’re hurting. The thing is just about everyone has something they’re dealing with.
There’s someone who cares.
Jesus knows exactly how you feel, and your behavior doesn’t scare Him. He understands you. He has suffered everything you have suffered, all of it, (Hebrews 4:15). He doesn’t like that you are suffering. He’s already suffered for you. He poured out His soul unto death, (Isaiah 53:12).
And.
Poured out His blood, dying on the cross, all so God would forgive your sins, (Matthew 26:36-38). I believe it really ticks Him off to see you go through the things you endure.
Whatever you do, don’t ever give up on yourself if you’ve tried to forgive before and failed. So, you’re not there yet. “Yet” is the operative word. Good news: You’re on your way! Remember; it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish.
Believe you will get there. You must have faith that you will be free from the anger, pain, disdain, depression, fear, and all the things that steal your joy. Jesus guarantees your success.
Sincere forgiveness happens instantly in your heart. But your soul does not forget the pain, shame, hurt and all the awful things you suffered. It’s up to you to remind yourself, you have forgiven and you’re not going back to the mess you left behind.
Watch out for the memories!
Going back and dredging up the past is the greatest temptation to resist once you’ve forgiven someone.
Your mind revels in going down memory lane. Every time this happens you feel victimized all over again. You certainly don’t need that. So. Watch what you’re thinking about your parents and the things that happened. You can’t change or control what happened then, but you can decide what to do with the memories. Your mind is under your control. (Romans 12:2, Ephesians 4:23). Change your thoughts and change your life.
Philippians 4:8 is my “goto” when my mind tries take me down the lane of dark thoughts.
Remember this. Regardless of what happened, where and how it happened. Jesus will heal your broken heart; deliver you from the terror, pain and bad feelings that have kept you captive, so you can live the life He died to provide for you (Luke 4:18
- You will be more prosperous.
Can you use a little more prosperity? It’s in the promise. If you took a survey you would find that children (minors and adults) who honor their parents are more prosperous than those who don’t. It’s no mystery when you know about God’s promise. You’ve probably never thought about it, so do your own survey and see for yourself.
This is not to say all our troubles is because we dishonor our parents, but it’s just a good place to start. We know there are many other possible reasons. Although, we could have avoided a lot of mistakes had we just obeyed our parents. Experience is not always the best teacher. (Ask me how I know.) “Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions; According to Your lovingkindness remember me, For Your goodness’ sake, O Lord” Psalm 25:7. God loves us. Did you know you God’s plan is to save us? Where would we be without God’s mercy?
God wants to bless your spirit, soul and body. He wants you to be healthy, wealthy, and wise!
Beloved, I pray that in every way you may succeed and prosper and be in good health [physically], just as [I know] your soul prospers [spiritually]. – 3 John 1:2
This is God’s plan for you and He wants you to live it. This is worth saying: Money is good and necessary Ecclesiastes 7:12. However, money does not equal prosperity. We do ourselves much disservice when we think so. Godly prosperity includes money, love, family, friends, and all good things. Don’t limit God and settle for less than God promises and then gripe and groan about what you don’t have. Take the whole thing!
- You will live longer
The only people who don’t have the desire to live long or longer are those who have lost all hope.
11 But I don’t have the strength to endure.
I have nothing to live for.
12 Do I have the strength of a stone?
Is my body made of bronze?
13 No, I am utterly helpless,
without any chance of success.—Job 6: 11-12
A miserable life with no expectation of relief in sight can make anyone feel that way. That’s not God’s plan for you. He is the God of all hope. Long life is a part of the promised blessing. You deserve to live a long happy life because Jesus has defeated the devil who had the power of death.
The devil wants to take you out early. He hopes you don’t know that he needs your permission when he tries to influence you. He’ll blind side you with feelings of depression, hopelessness, worthlessness, and he’ll use accusations, lies, deceptions — a host of weapons to get you to give him permission to kill you. He knows you don’t really want to die. You long for the pain to go away, die, but he deceives you into thinking that you and the pain are one, and inseparable. That’s a lie. Pain is an intruder, a thief and a defilement.
You have to fight back with the weapons God provide. These two very important thing you must do:
- Believe God’s plans and promises for you (John 10:10, John 3:16-18).
- Expect Him to answer your cries for help (Jeremiah 33:3, Psalms 18:6 Hebrews 11:6).
Believe God’s plans and promises for you:
Jeremiah 29:11.
1For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
12 In those days when you pray, I will listen.
Psalms 91:15-16
15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.
Expect God to answer your cries for help.
Psalm 119:88
According to Your steadfast love refresh me and give me life,
So that I may keep and obey the testimony of Your mouth.
Psalms 30:8-10
8 I cried out to you, O Lord.
I begged the Lord for mercy, saying,
9 “What will you gain if I die,
if I sink into the grave?
Can my dust praise you?
Can it tell of your faithfulness?
10 Hear me, Lord, and have mercy on me.
Help me, O Lord.”
Psalm 118:21
I will give thanks to You, for You have heard and answered me;
And You have become my salvation [my Rescuer, my Savior].
8 STEPS TO FORGIVENESS
STEP 1
- Meditate: on Psalm 27:10, Isaiah 49:15-16.
- Pray: Ask the Lord to help you to do this exercise.
STEP 2
On a sheet of paper:
Write everything you remember your parents have done that hurts you.
Write everything you think they’ve done even if you’re not sure that’s the way the story goes. It’s not only what really happened, it’s also what you think happened that’s hurting you. (“The heart knows its own bitterness, And no stranger shares its joy” —Proverbs 14:10.)
STEP 3
On another sheet of paper
Write the way you are feeling this moment.
Make a list using one word description like; betrayed, abused, abandoned, angry…
Speak to your parents.
Tell them how you feel. For instance, you could write; “I hate you.” “You never loved me.” “You abandoned me. Why did you leave me?”
STEP 4
How do you feel?
Write whatever you’re feeling now:
Angry. Sad. Lonely. Happy. Stupid. Ashamed. Guilty. Hatred. Indifference.
STOP this exercise if you are feeling rage. However long it takes, meditate on this verse until you feel calm:
“Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.” Psalms 23:4
Whenever you feel ready resume the exercise.
STEP 5
On another sheet of paper:
Write what you want them to do to fix you, and the issues you’re facing.
Do you want an apology? Do you want them to fall off the face of the earth? Do you want them to be happy?
What do you want? Be honest. The only right answer is the truth. You’re on a search and destroy mission for all the ugly truth. (“But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth” –James 3:14.)
Can you depend on them?
If you tell them what you need them to do to fix the situation will they do it? Jeremiah 17:5-7.
Can they do it?
Are you sure they are capable to do what you ask?
Do you think they’ll do it?
What if they do what you ask and it doesn’t work?
What if they don’t do what you ask, where does that leave you?
STEP 6
Think About It
Is there any way to fix this problem without their involvement?
What if you could forgive them without saying a word to them? (They may not be alive.) God has kept you alive and wants to help you. This is between God and YOU, (Psalm 51:3-4,17).
Are you ready to let God in on this? (Psalm 138:8, Jeremiah 17:7-8, Luke 1:37.)
STEP 7
Prayer to forgive your parents.
Father God. I am sorry for disobeying You and disobeying and dishonoring my parents/mother/father. I repent for this, and also for the sin of not forgiving them. I forgive them/him/her for what they/he/she did to hurt me. I ask You to forgive them by the blood of Jesus. Please forgive me and cleanse me from my sins and unrighteousness.
Father God, I ask for Your Holy Spirit to help me to obey and honor my parents as You command. I realize You want to bless me with the blessings reserved for those who honor their parents. I pray for Your will to be done in me.
Thank You for Your faithfulness to forgive me. Please restore me to my divine destiny and to the plans, dreams and visions You have for me. Thank You for hearing and answering this prayer. Amen.
STEP 8
Make it stick.
Now, take the list that you made of the things your parents did and write across it: “FORGIVEN! I FORGIVE YOU!” Then say: “The blood of Jesus cancels out all the sins you committed against me. I know they cannot hurt me anymore. I LOVE YOU with the love of God in me. May the Lord bless you and keep you.”
Read it as often as you need to. You will remember that you have forgiven him/her.
This way you will reprogram and renew your mind. You will get the peace you’ve longed for. You will see the change in your life.
What has been your greatest challenge when attempting to forgive?
Please leave a comment below letting me know how this post has helped you?
Thank you for stopping by!
